Dom

13th November 2007

Poor Dom. At breakfast yesterday I could hear a troubled Canadian accent rattling through issues of email, phones, home, how? how? how? with the staff at my lodge. It was clear to me that nothing was making a lot of sense to him. Dom is 67 and hails from Vancouver. He is desperately seeking a fellow Canadian to help him unravel in, Canadian fashion, the mysteries of existance in Chiang Mai. He is lonely. Not just lonely, but lonely, lost and confused. He descended at my breakfast table shortly after the whirring conversation that I had overheard with the staff. His introduction was by means of an apologetic request to join me. Mornings are not my best time, the cynicism in me before 9am, is often a horror to my dayself. An English-ish speaking village idiot and he wants to join my table; after such luck the day can only get better. Pre 9am speak.

I listened and nodded and listened and nodded. I began to understand how he felt. It was possibly the first time out of Canada in his life. It was certainly the first visit to Asia in his life. At 67. Nothing was working for him. He couldn't relax. He felt like a fish on the moon. 9am went by. I listened and I felt sympathy creeping up. He had paid for a month in this particular lodge. He had been here for almost a week and had spent most of his time looking for other Canadians, unsuccessfully. It wasn't working at all. With his months advance payment he felt locked in, a situation that just fuelled his unease. He had one friend back in Columbia that he wanted to let know of his whereabouts and probably feel connected to. A church lady. I began to realise that the church community was almost certainly a substantial part of Dom's life back in Columbia. I also got the distinct impression there wasn't much else.

Dom appeared to have three things in his pockets. A camera loaned him by the church. Cigarettes. Whisky. He gurgled on the latter several times during our conversation. Which he suggested was a result of his predicament. His thinking and speaking ventured toward the ‘booze’. He shook a little. A result of the booze which was a result of his disconnection from all things else familiar, was his unprompted explanation. He’d like to give it up. He’d like to go to the de-tox programme if he could find one. In my own assessment it was all just a little out of reach for Dom because it was all so unfamiliar. The whisky was within easy reach. Suddenly and surprisingly he decided his day would be consist of a visit to a lawyer (?!) that he had talked to the previous day in an attempt to get local advice on a de-tox location and connecting to his church friend back home. We had visited the email thing in our conversation. I discovered that Dom didn’t have his own email and would need to piggy back on others email addresses to communicate this way. I toyed with the idea of taking him to the shop to create his own email but he indicated he couldn’t type and wasn’t, it seemed, at all computer literate. I was glad for him that he had made a decision for his day. I indicated that I would see him later and we went off back to our separate rooms to prepare for our different activities.

It was my first full day in Chiang Mai. I had plans to walk the inner city roads and explore the many temples that appeared on the free local map that I had picked up. Temples visited, photo’s captured, city perimeter wall trailed and bottles of water consumed I wearily made my way back to the lodge toward late afternoon. I felt rather satisfied with my day. It was one of achievement if not particular excitement. Temples are temples aren’t they. I had wondered about Dom several times during the day and hoped that he had achieved things too. At the gate to the lodge I had to wonder no longer. Dom was sat there with a beer. It appeared that there may have been occasional conversation with a couple sat at the next table as the girl was half turned in his direction (and the guy had his head in his hands). I had no hesitation in enquiring of his progress. ‘The lawyers in jail but I met two girls who want to see me tomorrow’ was his succinct reply. ‘Well that’s progress isn’t it?’ I replied. He seemed to agree but it was clear that the easier comfort was alcohol. I imparted a brief description of my day and a need to go bathe my aching feet.

He would sleep soon and we would catch up again tomorrow he advised me. ‘Sure, have a good rest Dom’.

Today Dom was with a new friend. A professor. Yes, seriously. Tall the professor, born in Myanmar, from London but living in Oslo! In Chiang Mai to lecture on some new Asian University Venture. Tall had organized Dom as opposed to my encouragement toward independance. Dom was getting packed off to Pai. At Pai would be a previous Chang Mai acquaintance of Doms who was English. This fella owned his own bungalow and somehow Dom and Tall had worked out that Dom would be welcome and helped there. I last saw them at about midday in a taxi together. I hope you find relaxation Dom and enjoy a little of your time in Asia.

So today will be a ‘computer day’ for me. tomorrow I will take one of the reasonably inexpensive tours either to see elephants at work, trekking or the Golden Triangle.

My final 5 days or so in Bali were spent at Sanur. There were still parts of Bali that I had not explored but I chose to step back from the constant turnover of room and bus ride. Sanur had most things. Windsurfing figured. I was sorely tempted but balance is still a little iffy after the dive incident. I stayed at Agung and Sue’s and had friendly chats with family and staff remembering particularly the musical Elvis (struggling with, in his words, a broken heart, to which I have to add..of the new age; the more he sms’d her the less she sms’d back) Gundi who could get his acoustic guitar to sound like any accompanying music I suggested but particularly Nirvana stuff, and the malu Deane.

An Australian beach café attracted me most days. Pie, mash peas and gravy became a favorite. Wifi access made it all very convenient. Chilled. Very chilled. Brings a warm happy feeling to me as I recall it all. Mmmm.

Ooh I must mention Gary. Gary from Sydney. Gary and Tyo run this most hospitable little operation in Candidasar. Ari's Homestay. I was attracted to it by the BIG FREE BREAKFAST sign out on the pathement at the front of their place. After one night at a run down operation near to the stagnant lake in Candidasar this proved to be a pleasant find for my second night there and only 10,000 Rupiah more expensive. Tyo was from Java and the two were clearly enjoying the whole thing and making the customers enjoy it too. Gary, Viv, Henz, myself and a couple from the UK, Claire and Dave, I think, had a really nice social evening over a few beers. Breakfast was big as promised and set me up for the day and the ride onto Sanur.